In a recent conversation, a very dear friend (and a follower of my blog) told me that I really need to appreciate the things Charlotte, NC has to offer.  I took that advice to heart, and decided to share some very delectable eateries that I've grown to love during my eight years in the Queen City!

5. The Pita Pit
OMG.  Fresh veggies, warm pita bread, and options that appeal to carnivorous (chicken, turkey, etc.)         and vegetarian taste buds(like hummus, falafel, etc.) alike.  My favorite spot is downtown especially on the weekends when the crowd is lively and the Pita Pit stays open until 3am!

4. Mama Fu's
Ever since I tried the Ginger Sesame Salad with pan fried shrimp (they have Chicken too geez), I fell in eternal lust with this restaurant.  Mama Fu's Asian House is a delightful and reasonably priced spot that has a soothing ambience and excellent service.  Located in the Cotswold area, there are a host of Asian inspired options that you are sure to love (can we say food orgasm)!

3. Dolce Vita
Pop the cork on Charlotte's best wine bar and let the good times "Avant Garde" Roll! The words roll off my tongue with anticipation of my next opportunity to savor the irresistible sushi roll.  On Thursdays, Dolce Vita has their sushi special, and it is WELL worth the wait.  Put aside any of your other plans, and head to NoDa every Thursday for a sushi menu that is second to none.  An eclectic interior matched with an eclectic crowd make this wine bar an enjoyable experience.




                                                    
2. Cantina 15ll
A couple of friends introduced me to this restaurant two Sundays ago.  Being a guac snob, I was reluctant to tasting the guacamole (that by the way they prepare for you as you wait for your entree).  Can I say that after one bite of the guacamole, I was ready and willing to sell my soul to enjoy it every day of my life thereafter.  Wow! I made quick work of my entree, Taco Dorados, a crispy homemade taco shell filled with yummy ingredients like shrimp, crab meat, peppers, and cheese.  I contemplated licking the plate when I was done.  Located in the Stone Crest and Dilworth neighborhoods, this is the place you wanna be when your palate craves astounding Mexican fare.

1. Amelies
Vive la France! The French know food better than any other country on earth.  From open faced portobella and leek tartines to yummy "melt-in-your-mouth" raspberry tarts and country wine, Amelies is a place you will be sure to walk 1,000 miles for.  Located in NoDa, this 24 hour 7 day a week paradise of French cuisine has an engaging French interior, amazing patrons, and insurmountable customer service.  Careful to not drool on the display counters as you gaze over the large selection of desserts!

Got a favorite place you like to feed your face in Charlotte?  Let me know about it, and I'll post it next week!

We all have them.  Yes, ALL of us.  Those friends that do it openly without shame.  They are even shameless enough to do it in public.  They eat MEAT! Well I've finally discovered the kryptonite to my carnivorous compadres.  It's my chicken parmesan.  In a very short while you will have a delectable dish that will have them asking for the Reynold's Wrap.  Here's what you'll need:

Hardware:

• 1 Saucepan
• 1 Medium Skillet
• 2 stockpots/dutch ovens
• 2 plates (1 plate lined with two or three paper towels)
• 1 medium bowl

Ingredients:

• 1 bag of thawed boneless skinless chicken breasts (Wal-Mart has a really inexpensive bag)
• Ragu Pasta Sauce (Your choice, but I love the sun-dried tomato and basil)
• 1 bag of chicken breader
• 1 carton of buttermilk
• 1 box of spaghetti pasta
• 1 bag of shredded parmesan cheese
• 1 pack of sliced pepperoni 
• 1 bag of stir fry vegetables (Peppers, onions; can be found in frozen food section)
• Italian Seasoning
• 1 gallon of canola oil
• Parsley 

Directions:

1. Fill Dutch Oven/Stockpot halfway with canola oil, and warm oil over medium heat (Oil will be ready when a drop of water on the oil causes oil to sizzle).
2. Fill second dutch oven/stockpot halfway with water, and bring to a boil; add pasta
3. Fill saucepan with pasta sauce and pepperoni, and warm over low heat.
4. Warm skillet over low to medium heat, and coat skillet with canola oil.
5. Add chicken breader to plate and buttermilk to a bowl and place next to stockpot/dutch oven with oil.  
6. Dip chicken in buttermilk, making sure to bathe the entire chicken breast in the buttermilk.  Drain slightly, and then coat each side with breader.  Add breaded chicken breast to the hot oil.  Add no more than two pieces of chicken to stockpot/dutchoven at a time.  Allow chicken to cook for 7 to 10 minutes, or until golden brown (Remove chicken from stockpot/dutch oven onto second plate with the papertowels to absorb excess oil.  With a knife, slightly cut the chicken breast at it's thickest part.  Meat should not be pink!)  
7. While chicken is cooking, cook the vegetables in skillet.  Season with Italian Seasoning.  Remove from skillet, and place vegetables in the pasta sauce along with pepperoni.  
8. Remove pasta from boiling water after 3-5 minutes; drain and run hot pasta under cold water for a few seconds.  
9. Remove the pasta sauce from heat, and that's it!

Layer your plate with pasta, then add a nice crispy chicken breast over the pasta, and then coat the chicken breast with that amazing pasta sauce/pepperoni/vegetable mixture.  Top it off with some shredded parmesan cheese, parsley, and VOILA, you're ready to eat!

SN: A great salad, garlic bread, and white or red wine will go well with this dish!

This week I was on a 90's kicks with the Cranberries and Mazzy Star.  I believe some of the best music came from the 90's, and these two songs are great representations of this.  Kelly Rowland has a great new song out called, "Commander".  If it wasn't apparent that I'm a gay male, then bopping to this song at the gym certainly solidified this fact.  I stumbled over Bryn Christopher while I was shopping iTunes one night for a similar artist, and boy am I glad I did.  This guy is nothing short of amazing as his "one-of-a-kind" voice hypnotizes you in "Taken Me Over".  You're certain to enjoy these songs, and the fantastic thought provoking lyrics that will make these your digital favs.   Buy these on iTunes and Amazon today!

1. Slash-Saint Is A Sinner Too
2. Kelly Rowland-Commander
3. Bruno Mars-Just The Way You Are
4. Beyonce-Smash Into You
5. Brandy-Come A Little Bit Closer
6. Cranberries-Linger
7. John Legend-This Time
8. Mazzy Star-Fade Into You
9. Olive-You're Not Alone
10. Bryn Christopher-Taken Me Over

I remember when I was just a young'n and I'd grab a large bath towel, and would dart about the house pretending to be Dracula.  That guy was so cool.  He had an eloquent style about him that I try to emulate today.  Well, like so many things I've fancied in the course of my life, they seem to grow in popularity down the road (once I've tired of them).  Creature features has been the stuff of Hollywood for quite some time, though lately it seems that our fascination with zombies, vampires, and werewolves has risen substantially.  Is it an indicator of the current zeitgeist? I'll have to ask my colleague, Cornelius (the Trend Specialist) if the Trend Forecasting firm he interned with has incorporated this admiration for the living dead in with future forecasts.  I'm afraid these days we are in creature over kill!  Every vampire story has a different list of vampire do's and don'ts and so forth.  In the midst of this supernatural craze, I've decided to list the top 5 Creature features of all time to help you sift through the garbage that's out here.

1. Bram Stokers Dracula
The biggest bad ass of all vampires, Dracula shows us he is "the" vampire to know.  Francis Ford Coppola produces the best rendition of Bram Stoker's book to date.  This is the true vampire story for those of us that love the blood, fangs, and gothic overtones.

2. Van Helsing
First of all, Hugh Jackman is a very hot man indeed.  You'll never see a sexier werewolf (sorry Taylor Lautner, but next to Hugh Jackman, you're more of a pup than a wolf).  The ongoing battle between werewolves and vampires is explained in this film, and is visually depicted well in my opinion. No sappy "Twilight" teeny bopper b.s. in this film (or bad acting).  No, this is a movie for those that have a true appreciation for vampire vs. werewolf films.

3. The Lost Boys
Before "Twilight" and "True Blood" there were the Lost Boys.  This 80's film is certainly the predecessor of the aforementioned.  You won't see any pretty boys here, or any nampy pampy sickeningly sweet romance.  No, this film ditches the melodramatic romance, and prefers to unsettle you instead.  Sweet!

4. Night of the Living Dead
This movie made brains a delicacy.  I've never laughed while looking over my shoulder at the same time as I did when I watched this film.  Zombies are not nice people, and this remake has proven the fact that a lesson in etiquette is in order.  Damn radiation!  When will people ever learn?  The remake is good, and the original is even better!  Don't watch this alone.

5. Interview With The Vampire
I love Anne Rice as an author.  Movies that are based on books sometimes fall short of the former.  Not in this case.  Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are amazing in this film, as is Kirsten Dunst (you'll likely not hear me say that again).  This rather progressive tale about vampires dismisses some of the myths that we have learned about vampires (see "Warding off Vampires 101").  Well, forget everything you know, and run for it in this film that is set in Louisiana.








Burnthecloset wants you to share you favorite vampire, zombie, or werewolf films.  Leave them as a comment to this post, or email it to me, and I'll post it on the site.

I'm a single man, by choice lately.  However, I have tried to maintain a long term relationship, several times to no avail; so one could say that I have a little experience.  When you get my age, you really take a look back at the mistakes you've made in life, and try to figure out how to avoid making them again as you proceed into the future.  If you read my article, "Singled Out: Dating Tips From A Single Man", you will see that I've listed all of my imperfections.  The key is, I am aware of what they are.  Never the one to place total blame on myself, however, I think I've been looking for love in all the wrong places (sorry Marc Almond).  As one does when he/she gets older, I will pass down my knowledge, and it is up to you to listen.  

Below, I've listed the top five places to avoid when

you want to settle down, and why.  

Remember you've been warned.

5. The Grocery Store
Try to find "Mr. Right" in the produce section, and your bananas won't be the only thing getting bagged           dear.  It's true ladies and gents, men who stalk you in grocery stores are only trying to throw you in the cart with the rest of their groceries.  Once their done treating you like the perishable goods in their pantry, you're a goner.  Then, they're back at the grocery store to make another "purchase".

4. Your Straight Best Girlfriend
This is trivial, because the problem is most heterosexual women, try as they might, don't get it, even your "hag".  No matter how you try to explain it to them, they will forever be clueless.  You see, to them, you're a gay man, and they see another handsome gay man (so they think), and automatically think its a match made.  In their 2+2=4 world, it's that black and white.  But for us, I think we know what the real "tea" is.

3. So Called "Dating" Websites
Eve's other half has a website, except its sans Eve.  This website is under the guise of a great website where singles can meet and fall in love.  Don't fall for the hype.  Several failed relationships have finally opened my eyes to the real deal; A4A only serves a carnal purpose. For example, members post explicit images and claim to only be looking for friends, or wanting to find real love.  This should let you know that A4A and other similar websites are b.s., and you should GET OUT while you still can.  I mean really, I've never made lasting friendships by showing people my private area.  (Other's to avoid: Black Gay Chat, ManHunt, etc.)

2. Church
If you want a man to lie, cheat, and be deceitful, then church is the place for you.  The place of hypocrites and bigots, church will surely lead you on the path of romantic destruction.  News flash, if a man will lie to God, sweetie he will lie to you.

1. The Club
The number one NO-NO!!! Do I really need to go there?  I mean seriously, a hot sweaty room full of people that are drunk and high is the spot you choose to find a lasting love? Don't kid yourself my friend.  The music is pumping, and individuals are on the dancefloor grinding lustfully on each other.  This hedonic scene is saturated in sexual overtones.  I don't care how good he looks, and all of the wonderful things he whispers in your ear.  When the lights turn on at the end of the night, you will see him for who he truly is in more ways than one.  Let him buy you a few drinks, thank him for the favor, and leave.  Aliases and "phony" numbers work great in this setting.  Enjoy the night, leave any aspirations for romance at home, and like Gaga says, "just dance"!

Know of any other "No Cupid" zones?  Please comment and share your stories here at burnthecloset.blogspot.com!

Mom always said, "Marty eat your veggies, or you'll get no dessert".  I'm sure we've all heard that line.  Well, in order to get that big slab of chocolate cake, I'd manage to down the veggies on my plate.  As one gets older, the palette does change with maturity.  Today, I can't get enough of veggies.  I like them in my Italian dishes, to accompany an entree, or I enjoy raw veggies.  Well, why not make your veggies the headliner at your next meal.  I will show you how to make an easy vegetable stir fry that is healthy, economical, and delicious.

What you'll need:

• A wok (got mine from Ikea for $7.00)
• Wooden utensils

You can use any veggies you like, but here are the ones I use:

• Red & Yellow Bell Peppers (One Each)
• Red Onion (One)
• Snow Peas (One Pack In the Pod)
• Baby Corn (One Can)
• Broccoli (One Frozen Bag of Florets or Fresh Broccoli) 
• Water Chestnuts (One Can)
• Sprouts (One Pack)
• Basmati or Jasmine Rice
• Wok Oil
• Stir Fry Sauce (Low Sodium)
• Chili Powder
• One Head of Cabbage

Directions

1. Chop Bell Peppers, Red Onion, Cabbage (use 1/4 to 1/2 of cabbage), and Broccoli to prep them for wok.  Chop as fine as you would like.  Do not use a food processor.
2. Heat wok over medium heat and add wok oil.
3. Heat a sauce pan with water for rice.
4. Add veggies one at a time, and stir using wooden spoons.
5. When water in sauce pan is boiling, add rice, and follow cooking instructions.
6. You will add as many of the vegetables according to personal taste and according to the number of servings you will want.  Lightly season with Chili Powder.
7. Stir veggies in your wok for a good 10-12 minutes, and slowly stir in stir fry sauce.  Blend sauce with the vegetables according to taste for another 7-10 minutes.
8. Remove rice and wok from heat, and serve.  ENJOY!!!

The really great thing about this recipe is you can add poultry, beef, pork, or seafood to it very easily.

I have no idea what kind of mood I've been in this week, but my mind's been all over the place, as are the musical selections I've hand picked for this week for you to get.  I revisited the 90's with Lauryn Hill, because I needed to hear about love as only she can deliver the message.  Madonna's, "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" is simply haunting, and I LOVE IT!  When you want to dance, and just feel free, Lulu Hughs is going to "Give Some Love".  I promise these songs will please your musical palette.  ENJOY!  As always, these tune-rrific songs are available on Amazon and iTunes.

1. Lauryn Hill- Ex-Factor
2. Brazilian Girls-La territoire
3. Antoine Clamaran & Mario Ochoa feat. Lulu Hughs-Give Some Love (Klaas Remix Edit)
4. Hard-FI-Hard to Beat
5. Madonna-Devil Wouldn't Recognize You
6. Solange-Would've Been The One
7. Matt Alber-End of The World
8. Simian Mobile Disco-I Believe
9. Scissor Sisters-Invisible Light (Siriusmo Remix)
10. Rihanna-Good Girl Gone Bad

Hey buddy your music SUCKS! No really, the songs you're listening to lack any kind of musical integrity, talent, or creativity.  I remember growing up to the captivating and thought provoking music of Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and BoyzIIMen.  This is the type of R&B that will become classics, and will stand the test of time.  Oh and what a "Moment In Time" it was!  Songs like "If It's Over" by Mariah Carey, or "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" by BoyzIIMen will be as popular now as they were way back when.  Rap music by Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Common, and A Tribe Called Quest beckoned you to think about social issues and encouraged self respect.  What's more about all of these artists is the fact they either    sang, wrote, or rapped because of their love for music.

Now we move to the, uh, music (?) of today.  Wacka Flocka Flame; Soulja Boy; Gucci Mane?  I wonder if the notable house of Gucci is as uncomfortable with that reference as I am.  I beg you to listen to one of Soulja Boy's songs and pull anything thought provoking from his lackluster lyrics (hopefully he's kissing his career goodbye thru the phone).  What's even more sad is the fact that this pathetic excuse for an artist has a fan base.  I don't call that artistry, well not musical artistry; no a lot of today's rappers and singers have learned the art of conning the consumer.  Were you around the television when Ashanti received the "Aretha Franklin Entertainer of the Year" award and Best R&B/Soul New Artist at the Lady of Soul Awards over a year ago? My stomach remembers that lamentable moment well, as it churned in bitter anguish.  Ashanti can barely carry a tune, and she actually convinced individuals to purchase her albums that helped her attain undeserved titles.  

The problem is, artists are singing and rapping for all the wrong reasons these days.  Today my friends, it's all about the money, and nothing else.  You love your fans because your fan base equals revenue.  Music is long bereft of talent, you only need to attain a great beat, and then jumble a few words down or copy them from a bathroom stall, and record it over your incredible beat, and my friends you have a microwave hit! Of course great marketing doesn't hurt.  Remember that sex sells more now than ever before, and you will be the next best thing.  The saddest thing I saw was a gentleman defending Soulja Boy's song, "Pretty Boy Swag" on iTunes the other day.  In Soulja Boy's defense, the consumer replied to the horrible reviews by saying, "Respect Soulja's grind, hustle, and bussiness (consumer spells business wrong) because music he's making are becoming hits and many people are liking it Soulja is SUCCESSFUL." My advice to this clueless consumer -- get a reality check followed by a spell check; I'm sure your English teachers would be hurt.  Clearly someone that makes grammatical errors and can't spell would love Soulja Boy's music (I rest my case).  If this is where the next generation is headed, then I am very afraid.  However, I don't think it is, as many Gen Y'ers and Millenials choose more classic styles over what the radio is playing today (there is a God).  

The silver lining to this cloud includes such artists as Jazmine Sullivan, Chrisette Michele, John Legend, Alicia Keys, and B.o.B. to name a few.  These musicians clearly have a love for their craft, and perform musical pieces that will stand the test of time.  Another silver lining is the fact that Wacka Flocka, Nicki Minaj, and other artists that can't carry a tune, think Louis Vuitton is an Italian fashion house, or think Japan and China belong to two different continents will be long forgotten.  

Hall of Shame (TOP 10 ARTISTS THAT SHOULDN'T BE)

1. NICKI MINAJ
2. WACKA FLOCKA FLAME
3. SOULJA BOY
4. GUCCI MANE
5. ASHANTI
6. DRAKE
7. GS BOYS
8. SHAWTY LO
9. ROSCOE DASH
10. JUSTIN BIEBER

GOOD MUSIC: (R&B)

 

WTF MUSIC: (R&B)

GOOD MUSIC: (HIP HOP)

WTF MUSIC: (HIP HOP)

I'm a sucker for treating myself well; and that includes pleasing my palette.  This simple manicotti recipe will do just that.  In less than 60 minutes you'll have a delectable dish for you, friends, and/or family.  For the meat lovers, I recommend adding 1 lb ground beef, turkey, or chicken to your sauce.  Enjoy!

Ingredients

• 1 pint part-skim ricotta cheese
• 8 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese
• 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon dried parsley
• salt to taste
• ground black pepper to taste
• 1 (16 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
• 5 1/2 ounces manicotti pasta

Directions

1. Cook manicotti in boiling water until done. Drain, and rinse with cold water.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
3. In a large bowl, combine ricotta, mozzarella, and 1/2 cup Parmesan, eggs, parsley, and salt and pepper. Mix well.
4. Pour 1/2 cup sauce into an 11x17 inch baking dish. Fill each manicotti shell with 3 tablespoons cheese mixture, and arrange over sauce . Pour remaining sauce over top, and sprinkle with remaining Parmesan cheese.
5. Bake 45 minutes, or until bubbly.

Share your recipes with burnthecloset by emailing them to burnthecloset@gmail.com!

Rarely am I impressed with the radio any longer...until now.  Just the other day on my way home from work I heard three extraordinary songs back to back.  The songs promise to be very thought provoking.  I truly enjoyed, "Worry About You" by 2AM.  It spoke to a lot of relationships I've been in.  Catch these hot songs on iTunes and Amazon!

1. 2AM-Worry About You
2. Mike Posner-Cooler Than Me
3. Taio Cruz-Dynamite
4. Madcon-Beggin'
5. Justice-D.A.N.C.E.
6. David Guetta feat. Fergie, LMFAO, & Chris Wills-Getting Over You
7. Bruno Mars feat. Cee-lo-The Other Side
8. Nas feat. Kenny Loggins-We Will Survive
9. Corbin Bleu-Speed of Light
10. Brandon Beal-Electrocuted

I HATE BEER! At one point, I'll admit I thought beer was for the "other side of the tracks" individuals.  Boy was I wrong.  Now that I've gotten past my close minded views, I decided to try beer for myself.  I still hated it.  I found the beers I've tried (Budweiser, Coors, etc) were extremely bitter, and left a horrid after taste.  Never the one to give up easily, I listened to beer connoisseurs and tried a few imports.  It wasn't until recently, however, that a friend offered me a Shandy, beer mixed with ginger root.  I was in love.  I didn't realize that a Shandy has actually been quite popular for ages, especially in London, England.    In addition, you can make your own Shandy.  Being the cocktail-esque kinda guy, I prefer mixed drinks.  Who knew they made beer cocktails?  With this knowledge, I have become a certified beer drinker, but only Euro imports (still have to maintain my snob appeal).  For those of you that hate beer as much as I did (guess I still hate it straight up), I have found some recipes for some great beer cocktails.  I recommend a great shandy, and you can make it at home yourself, with a few quick steps.  A great pale ale (might I recommend Stella Artois) or lager mixed with ginger ale, lemonade, or carbonated lemonade (mix to taste) and you're set.  Visit "That's The Spirit" for great Beer Cocktail ideas, and for a crash course in Beer 101 visit the Beer Advocate. **This article posted for ages 21 and up**

REMEMBER DRINK RESPONSIBLY!

Okay, if you haven't figured it out, I love shrimp.  In fact, due to my pescetarian lifestyle, seafood is the only meet I consume.  So what is one to do when you want sphaghetti, but you're tired of tofu, ground soy, or going meatless?  Tah da! I figured, hell, if shrimp and cocktail sauce go hand in hand (and cocktail sauce is tomato based), then shrimp must marry well with the tomato sauce I use in my spaghetti.  So my dear readers, I have another quick, easy, and affordable recipe for you.  Here's what you'll need:

Ingredients:

• 31-40 ct peeled and deveined shrimp (thawed)
• 1 jar Ragu Tomato Sauce (I prefer Sundried Tomato & Sweet Basil Pasta Sauce)
• Spinach Spaghetti
• Vegetarian Pepperoni
• Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
• Bird's Eye Pepper Stir-Fry (Use according to taste)
• Paprika
• Pepper
• Chili Sauce
• Italian Seasoning
• Minced Garlic
• 1 teaspoon Smart Balance
• Canola Oil

Directions:

1.  In a medium frying pan, heat canola oil (enough to coat the bottom of the pan.
2. Add Minced garlic and butter, and stir to distribute across the pan.
3. Add thawed shrimp to mixture, and sprinkle lightly (paprika, pepper, chili sauce, and Italian seasoning).
4. Cover shrimp (allow shrimp to cook for 5-7 minutes max.  While shrimp are cooking add tomato sauce to a medium sauce pan, and heat on low. Cover.  
5. Remove shrimp from frying pan, and place in a small bowl.  Set aside.  Allow shrimp to sit in garlic/butter mixture.
6. Add canola oil to frying pan once shrimp is removed (enough to coat bottom of pan).  Fry veggies, until slightly browned (or to your taste).  Allow veggies to cook for 7-9 minutes.
7. Place veggies in tomato sauce.  Then, using a slotted spoon, remove shrimp from bowl and add to tomato sauce.
8. Add vegetarian pepperoni to tomato sauce, and stir contents into tomato sauce.
9. In another medium sauce pan, boil hot water, and add spinach spaghetti.
10. Once spaghetti is cooked al dente, remove from boiling water and place in strainer.  Run cool water over pasta for 15 seconds and add to serving bowl.

Time to EAT!!

I tend to put the pasta on my plate first, then the tomato sauce (with shrimp, veggies, and pepperoni), and sprinkle with cheese to taste.  The fun thing with this recipe is its versatility.  You can add shrimp, beef, or whatever horrific meat you meat-eaters choose.  Enjoy with red wine and yummy garlic bread.

The last pride event I officially attended and participated in was Atlanta's Black Pride in September of 2007.  The very first time I attended a pride event (in Atlanta in 2002), I was overwhelmed with excitement.  Coming from a small town, I felt so isolated; like I was the only gay man in town.  To be surrounded amongst other gay men gave me a feeling of empowerment; finally I realized I'm not the only one.  I was amazed at how the mayor of the city acknowledged and welcomed all visitors that traveled to Atlanta to be a part of the Gay Pride Event.  After 2002, I attended Atlanta's Pride Event each year, and the event began to lose its luster.  The very positive and uplifting workshops (Couple's Therapy, Film Festivals, HIV Support Groups, etc) were shadowed by the "shade" that I encountered.  I found most of the gay men that came to pride to either be sexually opportunistic (taking advantage of the large group of gay men) or very outwardly shady.  I thought to myself at a time we should embrace each other due to the hardships that I'm sure everyone attending has encountered at some point in some manner should take this moment to reflect and bond.  I became quite disappointed when I saw it to be quite the opposite. The "Meet & Greets" have become "Read & Greets".   At the malls, and other public places, some gay men felt a sense of "entitlement", acting obnoxious simply because there were large numbers of gay men present.  At a time of AIDs awareness, there are numerous "sex parties" being held in the late hours of night (some of them being "raw" parties).  Are you kidding?!  Come on, let's get it together.  Moreover, instead of saying welcome brother (or sister; the lesbians unfortunately are pushed to the back burner which will bring me to my next point), energy is wasted in being "catty" by turning the cheek, and making snide comments about each other.  Haven't gay men and women been persecuted enough!?  This atmosphere which is all too common has made me resent Pride Marches all together.  I understand, and totally support the message since the first official pride march on July 4, 1969 in New York City.  Gay men needed to establish a voice in the community.  Through breaking social norms in a very ostentatious manner (deconstruction of gender roles, bright and flamboyant clothing, etc), gay men were able to gain grounds in the name of liberation and equality.  Gay Pride today is overshadowed by the negative aspects I mentioned, however.

What's more is the segregation.  In an age where we must support and back one another, we have a "regular" pride (for caucasians) and a "black" pride (obvious).  Here's an idea.  In an act of solidarity, let's combine the two.  Now I'm not crazy.  I understand the premise of having two is due to the fact that blacks were overshadowed during the first pride marches.  So, in order for black gay men to have a voice, and to announce our community's special interests, we had to establish our own pride.  But is it necessary any more?  I think not.  Instead, let's destroy the inter-segregation that has occurred in the gay community (the unnecessary segregation) and show the world that "'WE' are here, we're queer, so let's get used to it".

What do ya say?  Shall we begin to spread a message of solidarity, and embrace each other, or continue on a track of segregation and shade that reflects the painful abandonment and ostracizing we have faced from our family, friends, and society.  I assure you that we will achieve more as a whole.  Let's give it a try!

OMG (is that still a "trendy" phrase?), I was on my way to meet a couple of friends at Cabo Fish Taco (it's amazing must try their BBQ Mahi Mahi Tacos and their Lemon Grilled Shrimp Tacos, yummy!) when I heard a tune that had me dancing underneath the restraints of my seat belt (buckle up!).  It was a song titled "Freak" by Estelle featuring Kardinal Offishall.  Wow! I was pumped.  In about two weeks I'll be back to the grind at the gym, and I MUST have this song incorporated in my workout music.  I could do 8 hours on the elliptical listening to this.  In addition, I have some other music that has me pumped:

1. Estelle feat. Kardinal Offishall - Freak
2. Chrisette Michele- Fragile
3. V V Brown- Shark In the Water
4. Jess Penner- A Little Bit Crazy
5. Sneaky Sound System - UFO
6. B.o.B. feat. Hayley Williams - Airplanes
7. Timbaland feat. Justin Timberlake - Carry Out
8. David Rush feat. LMFAO, Pitbull, and Kevin Rudolf -    Shooting Star
9. Paper Tongues - Strongest Flame
10. Diddy feat. T.I. - Hello Good Morning

Get these great songs NOW at iTunes and Amazon!

What a day!  When I got home about an hour ago there was only one thing on my mind -- FOOD!  Lately I've been satisfying my hunger by fixing a very simple, but very fulfilling (and very delectable) meal.  Ladies and gents I'd like to introduce to you my version of the shrimp po'boy.  This meal is very easy to make and very economical.  In less than an hour your taste buds will thank you when you sink your teeth into this healthy vegetarian-friendly entree.  Here's how to make it:


You'll need (find these at your local grocery store):

• Cobblestone Mill Whole Wheat Rolls
• Smart Balance Light Extra Virgin Olive Oil Buttery Spread
• 31-40 ct peeled & deveined thawed shrimp (let someone else do the dirty work)
• Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning
• Muenster Cheese slices (I buy store brand cheese)
• Cole Slaw (store brand blue cheese slaw tastes great!)
• Birds Eye Pepper Stir-Fry (1/2 cup)
• Paprika
• Hellman's Light Mayonaise
• Canola Oil
• Worcestershire sauce

Hardware:

• Double sided-Griddle
• Medium Frying Pan
• Bread knife
• Small/Medium sized bowl

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, and place griddle (grill grated side up) inside oven.
2. While oven is heating, place your frying pan on your stove top, and warm the eye by using med-low heat.
3. Use a small amount of canola oil (just enough to coat the pan.
4. Add two teaspoons of buttery spread to pan, and allow butter to melt.
5. Add thawed shrimp to frying pan, and sprinkle shrimp lightly with creole seasoning and Worcestershire sauce and cover (let shrimp cook for 5 mins max or until opaque in color).
6. While shrimp are cooking, slice open whole wheat roll, and spread buttery spread on either side.
7. Place whole wheat roll, open side down on griddle grates for 3-5 minutes (you'll get those lovely grill lines on your bread -- sweet!).
8. Remove shrimp (and the yummy broth) from heat, and place inside bowl. Set aside.
9. Flip roll in oven over, and add one slice of cheese to roll (fold cheese in half and tear; add cheese slices to one side of the roll long wise).
10. Re-coat bottom of frying pan, and add peppers to frying pan.  Cook until brown, and remove from heat (5-7 mins).  
11. Remove roll from oven.  Add slaw to non-cheese side, and place peppers on top of cheese.
12. Add about 8 shrimp on top of cheese and peppers.  On the slaw side, squeeze (or spread if you have the non-squeeze mayo) a small amount of mayo on top of slaw.
13. Add a dash of paprika to either side of sandwich.

EAT!!!

The end result is an explosion of savory flavors in your mouth that you will not soon forget.  Place your left over shrimp in a tupperware dish so you can warm them up in your microwave and prepare another sandwich when your stomach is rumbling.

Like this recipe? Leave comments as to whether you liked this recipe or not, and ways you could improve it.

Well, I’m about to piss a lot of people off.  It’s not something I ever set out to do, but it happens – usually when I’m telling the truth.  I have a problem, and the problem is with myself.  Well, not me exactly, but with other individuals in society that have the same complexion as me – black people.  Particularly those of African American decent, and I’m not talking about all black people.  I’m only talking about those that are victims of victimization.  It’s a pandemic that has spread like wild fire and it rears its 
ugly head too often.  

My first “beef” is with the over used and overrated race card.  I truly think black people “make” themselves victims of racism, sometimes conveniently.  The truth is though BLACK PEOPLE ARE RACIST! “We” describe other races and cultures by slangs that are often offensive to them (ex. Arab pronounced ay-rab), but think it completely okay.  Yet, when someone uses the “n” word (that mind you we use on ourselves) it’s a problem.  Are you kidding me? I’ve heard several complaints from blacks, especially men, both gay and straight, that they have a difficult time getting into certain upscale night clubs.  Could it be that when we assemble we have a difficult time avoiding conflict between ourselves? Oh he looked at me wrong; he stepped on my shoe; he brushed up against me to get into the bathroom because I was acting too shady and ridiculous to allow him room to get past; then its let the battle begin.  Yes, you’re right, other races get into altercations, and I haven’t done the primary and secondary research to see who gets into fights more and which race is more confrontational.  I don’t have to! Here is the point, instead of responding to this situation by pointing a finger at someone else who does it, why not take the high road and let’s learn to get along amongst ourselves.  Listen, the graveyard is overflowing with people who have lost their lives over ridiculous confrontation.  Enough already!  When television shows poke fun at African American stereotypes, we as black people have no right to be offended.  How many times have we poked at “uptight white” male stereotypes?  The truth is, most of the stereotypes are true, or they wouldn’t be stereotypes.  Learn to laugh it off (pick your battles wisely).  Now, I agree, the Don Imus situation was most unfortunate, as are some others, but the cry to the NAACP every five minutes is beginning to resemble the “boy who cried wolf” (or is it porch monkey?).  I hang my head in shame thinking of the black people that made a difference just to have a voice and how we squander their hard work.  Instead of celebrating the fact that we have a black president (who by the way is multi-racial), let’s celebrate the fact that we have a guy in office that is a visionary and wants to establish a more modern way of looking at the world.  The worst thing of all is the fact that we racially discriminate amongst ourselves.  For my entire life, I’ve faced the “white boy” jokes.  I don’t eat fried chicken nor do I admire fried anything (I hate watermelon due to overexposure as a child).  I don’t like a lot of salt and I hate hot sauce, collard greens, and black-eyed peas.  Don’t even get me started on hog chitterlings or pig feet or pig ears (ugh).  I admire sushi, and other cultural entrees, so I am disconnected from my race (so I hear).  Exactly! I’ve experienced racism from my own race! My musical preferences extend beyond hip-hop and rhythm and blues.  Marty Allen dresses white, simply because I admire clothes that fit, and I and I talk white because I am an articulate black man.  Try surviving in corporate America with those gold fronts, and those pants to your ankles (which by the way those baggy clothes don’t compliment what may be a nice physique underneath all of that unnecessary fabric), and talking in your street slang during the interview (I’m sure you’ll just blame the “man” anyway).  To say that acting white involves using proper grammar and having a true sense of style, among other things, then sign me up.  But it hurts to hear this, because we as black people are marking our own selves as sub par to others.  No one says its wrong to have a certain vernacular, but it isn’t always appropriate (nor is being loud and obnoxious during certain times and occasions).  Sometimes you have to play the game.  Don’t be too proud or too foolish to realize that there is a time and a place for everything, or to realize moderation is key (i.e. quiet down in areas where others are studying or concentrating; don’t get angry at others when you are violating traffic laws or other rules of conduct).  You don’t rule the world or own it.  Remember to get respect it has to be earned (lose the attitude).  We don’t have to “cuss that bitch out” to get our point across.  Instead, find a more educated way to enact your retribution.  Trust me, the cut will be deeper and last longer.  My final point to this is racism will not stop unless we discontinue perpetuating it by giving it a life force conceived from our own ignorance.  Am I saying it doesn’t exist –absolutely not.  What I am saying is that we can help by sending into oblivion by not blaming everything on “it”. 

Now pardon me, but can we stop “abusing” the system.  Slavery is over, and no one owes us anything. If anything we owe the people that gave their lives to the civil rights movement by working even harder, and being proactive.  Instead, we lie in a debilitating bed of complacency.  Currently while I’m in college full time and working the other hours of my life I have experienced a cash flow problem.  Hey, we all do at some point or another.  For this reason I humbled myself to receive government assistance.  That’s why we have it.  But I accepted it with the mindset that I will work twice as hard when I graduate to discontinue using it.  You see, I want to work hard and climb the mountain of success (with bloody and bruised hands) to get to a point that I will hopefully never have to return to that point.  Some individuals, however, take advantage and let the government take care of them, because they somehow feel the government (actually taxpayers) should be obligated to take care of them.  Then some draw from unemployment for an indefinite amount of time all the while drawing another source of income elsewhere.  Hey, save that money for those that truly need it!  The bottom line is setting a standard for yourself where you want to get past needing a handout.  Don’t let this be mistaken as being too good, but just wanting to be so independent and so accomplished that you are self sufficient.  There is nothing wrong with that.

Sadly, if you drive through predominantly black neighborhoods (most of them) they are run down and look horrible.  It’s not because of the “man”.  It’s because we are too lazy to clean and beautify our own neighborhoods.  Instead, we wait for someone else to do what we can do our damn selves. I suppose I could keep going, and I’m sure I’ll think of other things after I’ve posted it.  But I want to know how you feel about this.  Do you hate me now for saying this?  I don’t “hate” black people nor am I afraid of them.  In fact I love people from all walks of life, and I admire individuals for reasons far beyond the surface.  I ask that you approach this subject with an open mind, and really consider my opinions and views.  Trust me, I’ll consider yours whether you are for or against what I’ve said.  If you don’t like the stereotypes or you don’t like being “profiled”, then you have to begin by taking a look in the mirror.  Change begins with “you”, and we can begin to rebuild our reputations and be taken seriously when we stop blaming everybody else.  Move to plan B, because plan A has gotten us absolutely nowhere.

In an attempt to elevate your mind and 

broaden your horizons, I thought I’d share

some of my favorite dishes with you.  

In a nod to my fellow vegetarians

and individuals that aspire to integrate

more vegetables in your diet, you’ve got 

to try this simple recipe. Please your palette

when you sink your teeth into this

Makhouda D'aubergine (Crustless Tunisian Eggplant Frittata)

with a fresh salad and your favorite wine.

SERVES 4 -6 

Prep Time: 45 min

Cook Time: 2 hrs

Ingredients  

•      1 large globe eggplant

•      salt, for sprinkling

•      1/4 cup olive oil           

•      1 medium onion, finely chopped              

•      1 red bell pepper, seeded, de-ribbed and diced              

•      8 large eggs          

•      1 handful chopped fresh parsley (about 1/2 cup packed) or coriander or cilantro leaf

•      4 garlic cloves, minced

•      8 ounces gruyere cheese, cut into 1/4-inch cubes

•      1/2 cup dried breadcrumbs

1 Teaspoon Tunisian Spice Blend (Bharat) or a mixture of:

•      1/2 teaspoon black pepper, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/2 teaspoon rosewater

•      about 3/4 teaspoon fine salt

•      harissa, to taste (North African hot pepper paste) (optional) or cayenne pepper 
        to taste (optional)

•      lemon wedge

Directions  

1.     Peel and cut the eggplant into 1/2-inch dice.

2.     Sprinkle generously with salt and place the cubes in a colander to drain for 
        about 20 minutes.

3.     Rinse and pat dry with paper towels.

4.     Preheat the oven to 400ºF/200°C

5.     In a large skillet over medium heat, heat the olive oil and cook the 
        eggplant, onion, and pepper, stirring occasionally until golden 
        and soft, about 20-25 minutes.

6.     Transfer this mixture to a colander to drain off as much of the oil as possible.

7.     In a medium bowl, mix the eggs and add the herbs, garlic, cheese and bread crumbs.

8.     Add the eggplant mixture.

9.     Season with the bharat, salt, and a small spoonful of the optional harissa 
        or cayenne pepper.

10.   Grease a 2-quart soufflé dish

11.   Pour the egg mixture into the dish and bake in the middle of the 

        oven until golden brown and  puffed in the center, 40-45minutes 

       (a knife inserted into the center should come out clean).

12.   Let cool for 10 minutes before unmolding onto a serving platter 

       (you can also just leave it in the dish).

13.   Cut into wedges or squares to serve.

14.   Serve hot or at room temperature with lemon wedges on the side.

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