The last pride event I officially attended and participated in was Atlanta's Black Pride in September of 2007.  The very first time I attended a pride event (in Atlanta in 2002), I was overwhelmed with excitement.  Coming from a small town, I felt so isolated; like I was the only gay man in town.  To be surrounded amongst other gay men gave me a feeling of empowerment; finally I realized I'm not the only one.  I was amazed at how the mayor of the city acknowledged and welcomed all visitors that traveled to Atlanta to be a part of the Gay Pride Event.  After 2002, I attended Atlanta's Pride Event each year, and the event began to lose its luster.  The very positive and uplifting workshops (Couple's Therapy, Film Festivals, HIV Support Groups, etc) were shadowed by the "shade" that I encountered.  I found most of the gay men that came to pride to either be sexually opportunistic (taking advantage of the large group of gay men) or very outwardly shady.  I thought to myself at a time we should embrace each other due to the hardships that I'm sure everyone attending has encountered at some point in some manner should take this moment to reflect and bond.  I became quite disappointed when I saw it to be quite the opposite. The "Meet & Greets" have become "Read & Greets".   At the malls, and other public places, some gay men felt a sense of "entitlement", acting obnoxious simply because there were large numbers of gay men present.  At a time of AIDs awareness, there are numerous "sex parties" being held in the late hours of night (some of them being "raw" parties).  Are you kidding?!  Come on, let's get it together.  Moreover, instead of saying welcome brother (or sister; the lesbians unfortunately are pushed to the back burner which will bring me to my next point), energy is wasted in being "catty" by turning the cheek, and making snide comments about each other.  Haven't gay men and women been persecuted enough!?  This atmosphere which is all too common has made me resent Pride Marches all together.  I understand, and totally support the message since the first official pride march on July 4, 1969 in New York City.  Gay men needed to establish a voice in the community.  Through breaking social norms in a very ostentatious manner (deconstruction of gender roles, bright and flamboyant clothing, etc), gay men were able to gain grounds in the name of liberation and equality.  Gay Pride today is overshadowed by the negative aspects I mentioned, however.

What's more is the segregation.  In an age where we must support and back one another, we have a "regular" pride (for caucasians) and a "black" pride (obvious).  Here's an idea.  In an act of solidarity, let's combine the two.  Now I'm not crazy.  I understand the premise of having two is due to the fact that blacks were overshadowed during the first pride marches.  So, in order for black gay men to have a voice, and to announce our community's special interests, we had to establish our own pride.  But is it necessary any more?  I think not.  Instead, let's destroy the inter-segregation that has occurred in the gay community (the unnecessary segregation) and show the world that "'WE' are here, we're queer, so let's get used to it".

What do ya say?  Shall we begin to spread a message of solidarity, and embrace each other, or continue on a track of segregation and shade that reflects the painful abandonment and ostracizing we have faced from our family, friends, and society.  I assure you that we will achieve more as a whole.  Let's give it a try!

Well, I’m about to piss a lot of people off.  It’s not something I ever set out to do, but it happens – usually when I’m telling the truth.  I have a problem, and the problem is with myself.  Well, not me exactly, but with other individuals in society that have the same complexion as me – black people.  Particularly those of African American decent, and I’m not talking about all black people.  I’m only talking about those that are victims of victimization.  It’s a pandemic that has spread like wild fire and it rears its 
ugly head too often.  

My first “beef” is with the over used and overrated race card.  I truly think black people “make” themselves victims of racism, sometimes conveniently.  The truth is though BLACK PEOPLE ARE RACIST! “We” describe other races and cultures by slangs that are often offensive to them (ex. Arab pronounced ay-rab), but think it completely okay.  Yet, when someone uses the “n” word (that mind you we use on ourselves) it’s a problem.  Are you kidding me? I’ve heard several complaints from blacks, especially men, both gay and straight, that they have a difficult time getting into certain upscale night clubs.  Could it be that when we assemble we have a difficult time avoiding conflict between ourselves? Oh he looked at me wrong; he stepped on my shoe; he brushed up against me to get into the bathroom because I was acting too shady and ridiculous to allow him room to get past; then its let the battle begin.  Yes, you’re right, other races get into altercations, and I haven’t done the primary and secondary research to see who gets into fights more and which race is more confrontational.  I don’t have to! Here is the point, instead of responding to this situation by pointing a finger at someone else who does it, why not take the high road and let’s learn to get along amongst ourselves.  Listen, the graveyard is overflowing with people who have lost their lives over ridiculous confrontation.  Enough already!  When television shows poke fun at African American stereotypes, we as black people have no right to be offended.  How many times have we poked at “uptight white” male stereotypes?  The truth is, most of the stereotypes are true, or they wouldn’t be stereotypes.  Learn to laugh it off (pick your battles wisely).  Now, I agree, the Don Imus situation was most unfortunate, as are some others, but the cry to the NAACP every five minutes is beginning to resemble the “boy who cried wolf” (or is it porch monkey?).  I hang my head in shame thinking of the black people that made a difference just to have a voice and how we squander their hard work.  Instead of celebrating the fact that we have a black president (who by the way is multi-racial), let’s celebrate the fact that we have a guy in office that is a visionary and wants to establish a more modern way of looking at the world.  The worst thing of all is the fact that we racially discriminate amongst ourselves.  For my entire life, I’ve faced the “white boy” jokes.  I don’t eat fried chicken nor do I admire fried anything (I hate watermelon due to overexposure as a child).  I don’t like a lot of salt and I hate hot sauce, collard greens, and black-eyed peas.  Don’t even get me started on hog chitterlings or pig feet or pig ears (ugh).  I admire sushi, and other cultural entrees, so I am disconnected from my race (so I hear).  Exactly! I’ve experienced racism from my own race! My musical preferences extend beyond hip-hop and rhythm and blues.  Marty Allen dresses white, simply because I admire clothes that fit, and I and I talk white because I am an articulate black man.  Try surviving in corporate America with those gold fronts, and those pants to your ankles (which by the way those baggy clothes don’t compliment what may be a nice physique underneath all of that unnecessary fabric), and talking in your street slang during the interview (I’m sure you’ll just blame the “man” anyway).  To say that acting white involves using proper grammar and having a true sense of style, among other things, then sign me up.  But it hurts to hear this, because we as black people are marking our own selves as sub par to others.  No one says its wrong to have a certain vernacular, but it isn’t always appropriate (nor is being loud and obnoxious during certain times and occasions).  Sometimes you have to play the game.  Don’t be too proud or too foolish to realize that there is a time and a place for everything, or to realize moderation is key (i.e. quiet down in areas where others are studying or concentrating; don’t get angry at others when you are violating traffic laws or other rules of conduct).  You don’t rule the world or own it.  Remember to get respect it has to be earned (lose the attitude).  We don’t have to “cuss that bitch out” to get our point across.  Instead, find a more educated way to enact your retribution.  Trust me, the cut will be deeper and last longer.  My final point to this is racism will not stop unless we discontinue perpetuating it by giving it a life force conceived from our own ignorance.  Am I saying it doesn’t exist –absolutely not.  What I am saying is that we can help by sending into oblivion by not blaming everything on “it”. 

Now pardon me, but can we stop “abusing” the system.  Slavery is over, and no one owes us anything. If anything we owe the people that gave their lives to the civil rights movement by working even harder, and being proactive.  Instead, we lie in a debilitating bed of complacency.  Currently while I’m in college full time and working the other hours of my life I have experienced a cash flow problem.  Hey, we all do at some point or another.  For this reason I humbled myself to receive government assistance.  That’s why we have it.  But I accepted it with the mindset that I will work twice as hard when I graduate to discontinue using it.  You see, I want to work hard and climb the mountain of success (with bloody and bruised hands) to get to a point that I will hopefully never have to return to that point.  Some individuals, however, take advantage and let the government take care of them, because they somehow feel the government (actually taxpayers) should be obligated to take care of them.  Then some draw from unemployment for an indefinite amount of time all the while drawing another source of income elsewhere.  Hey, save that money for those that truly need it!  The bottom line is setting a standard for yourself where you want to get past needing a handout.  Don’t let this be mistaken as being too good, but just wanting to be so independent and so accomplished that you are self sufficient.  There is nothing wrong with that.

Sadly, if you drive through predominantly black neighborhoods (most of them) they are run down and look horrible.  It’s not because of the “man”.  It’s because we are too lazy to clean and beautify our own neighborhoods.  Instead, we wait for someone else to do what we can do our damn selves. I suppose I could keep going, and I’m sure I’ll think of other things after I’ve posted it.  But I want to know how you feel about this.  Do you hate me now for saying this?  I don’t “hate” black people nor am I afraid of them.  In fact I love people from all walks of life, and I admire individuals for reasons far beyond the surface.  I ask that you approach this subject with an open mind, and really consider my opinions and views.  Trust me, I’ll consider yours whether you are for or against what I’ve said.  If you don’t like the stereotypes or you don’t like being “profiled”, then you have to begin by taking a look in the mirror.  Change begins with “you”, and we can begin to rebuild our reputations and be taken seriously when we stop blaming everybody else.  Move to plan B, because plan A has gotten us absolutely nowhere.