Singled Out: Dating Tips from A Single Man

Okay, so I'm single...(deep breath...wait...wait...release)...there I said it.  I must admit that I never imagined that I would be single in my sexy 30's, but the reality of it is, men don't change for the better as you get older.  Sometimes I really think they make a change for the worse.  But that is neither here nor there.  But here's the major question: is it really their actions or unconscious actions of my own that are truly transforming my "Prince Charmings" into royal a**holes? This year, after yet another failed relationship, I took a vow -- "No Men for 2010".  Yes, I've said it before, but this year I really meant it (besides, I have to because the slogan will be irrelevant next year and thereafter).  Amazingly, in just six short months, I've discovered so many things about "me" that I would have never unearthed if I had of allowed another pretend lover in my life.  Oh, but the beauty of revelations has uncovered things (I dare not call them imperfections--hey I'm a Capricorn; in my eyes I AM perfect) that "the one" will be willing to put up with out of love for me.  After realizing these things, I believe in "the one" more than ever before.  I've discovered he may not fit my shallow physical requirements (a tall, hyper-masculine, muscular brick wall), but will be the man I've longed for because he will meet my emotional prerequisites.  So, I extend a little advice to you:

• Don't limit yourself by demanding your "perfect man" meet your physical requirements.  Dating a man that isn't what you want physically isn't lowering your standards.  Lowering your standards would be sleeping with him to keep him (been there, done that; see the first sentence of this post for the outcome).  
• Realize that your man may not be perfect in your friends' eyes.  What is important is that he is perfect for YOU.
• Fairytale romances are just that.  Be realistic! 
• Love takes time (yes Mariah!!!).  Allow it to take its course.  Build your foundation on the construct of friendship, and allow the relationship to grow from there.  Your romantic relationship is likely to last if you start this way (my friends who are in long term relationships all recommend this method).  In this way you'll truly know each other, and won't ignore the major issues the two of you refuse to live with if you're not blinded by premature love.
• Make sure he is the type of individual that can function well in a committed relationship; in other words make sure he's ready to settle down, or you'll be sorry! You'll see the signs, and you should NEVER ignore them.
• Know yourself!  This is the most important rule.  

I've found that I am a perfectionist.  Although I'm trustworthy, committed, and make it my mission to ensure my lover's happiness when I'm in a relationship, I have a problem sharing tasks, because I think only I can perform them efficiently.  I am very goal oriented, and I set goals which often limit my time for spending those precious intimate moments with my boyfriend.  Being single has forced me to come face to face with these demons (and those are only a few; I'm moody too), which are only bad when they come in between you and your lover, or when you're with an individual who refuses to deal with your vices. Don't sweat the small stuff, but don't lower your standards by putting up with the major issues (i.e. infidelity, lack of communication, physical/mental abuse, etc.). I recommend being single for a while, in order to discover yourself, and truly make sure that you are in love with "you" (and you even know who "you" are for that matter)before you attempt to love another.  So, take your time, and make sure he'll love you beyond your short comings, and you won't be stupid in love (sorry, music is my life).  

Share your relationship advice with burnthecloset.blogspot.com by leaving comments today! I'd love to hear it (I need all the help I can get).