Top 5 Places You Should NEVER Look For Love

I'm a single man, by choice lately.  However, I have tried to maintain a long term relationship, several times to no avail; so one could say that I have a little experience.  When you get my age, you really take a look back at the mistakes you've made in life, and try to figure out how to avoid making them again as you proceed into the future.  If you read my article, "Singled Out: Dating Tips From A Single Man", you will see that I've listed all of my imperfections.  The key is, I am aware of what they are.  Never the one to place total blame on myself, however, I think I've been looking for love in all the wrong places (sorry Marc Almond).  As one does when he/she gets older, I will pass down my knowledge, and it is up to you to listen.  

Below, I've listed the top five places to avoid when

you want to settle down, and why.  

Remember you've been warned.

5. The Grocery Store
Try to find "Mr. Right" in the produce section, and your bananas won't be the only thing getting bagged           dear.  It's true ladies and gents, men who stalk you in grocery stores are only trying to throw you in the cart with the rest of their groceries.  Once their done treating you like the perishable goods in their pantry, you're a goner.  Then, they're back at the grocery store to make another "purchase".

4. Your Straight Best Girlfriend
This is trivial, because the problem is most heterosexual women, try as they might, don't get it, even your "hag".  No matter how you try to explain it to them, they will forever be clueless.  You see, to them, you're a gay man, and they see another handsome gay man (so they think), and automatically think its a match made.  In their 2+2=4 world, it's that black and white.  But for us, I think we know what the real "tea" is.

3. So Called "Dating" Websites
Eve's other half has a website, except its sans Eve.  This website is under the guise of a great website where singles can meet and fall in love.  Don't fall for the hype.  Several failed relationships have finally opened my eyes to the real deal; A4A only serves a carnal purpose. For example, members post explicit images and claim to only be looking for friends, or wanting to find real love.  This should let you know that A4A and other similar websites are b.s., and you should GET OUT while you still can.  I mean really, I've never made lasting friendships by showing people my private area.  (Other's to avoid: Black Gay Chat, ManHunt, etc.)

2. Church
If you want a man to lie, cheat, and be deceitful, then church is the place for you.  The place of hypocrites and bigots, church will surely lead you on the path of romantic destruction.  News flash, if a man will lie to God, sweetie he will lie to you.

1. The Club
The number one NO-NO!!! Do I really need to go there?  I mean seriously, a hot sweaty room full of people that are drunk and high is the spot you choose to find a lasting love? Don't kid yourself my friend.  The music is pumping, and individuals are on the dancefloor grinding lustfully on each other.  This hedonic scene is saturated in sexual overtones.  I don't care how good he looks, and all of the wonderful things he whispers in your ear.  When the lights turn on at the end of the night, you will see him for who he truly is in more ways than one.  Let him buy you a few drinks, thank him for the favor, and leave.  Aliases and "phony" numbers work great in this setting.  Enjoy the night, leave any aspirations for romance at home, and like Gaga says, "just dance"!

Know of any other "No Cupid" zones?  Please comment and share your stories here at burnthecloset.blogspot.com!