I'm a single man, by choice lately.  However, I have tried to maintain a long term relationship, several times to no avail; so one could say that I have a little experience.  When you get my age, you really take a look back at the mistakes you've made in life, and try to figure out how to avoid making them again as you proceed into the future.  If you read my article, "Singled Out: Dating Tips From A Single Man", you will see that I've listed all of my imperfections.  The key is, I am aware of what they are.  Never the one to place total blame on myself, however, I think I've been looking for love in all the wrong places (sorry Marc Almond).  As one does when he/she gets older, I will pass down my knowledge, and it is up to you to listen.  

Below, I've listed the top five places to avoid when

you want to settle down, and why.  

Remember you've been warned.

5. The Grocery Store
Try to find "Mr. Right" in the produce section, and your bananas won't be the only thing getting bagged           dear.  It's true ladies and gents, men who stalk you in grocery stores are only trying to throw you in the cart with the rest of their groceries.  Once their done treating you like the perishable goods in their pantry, you're a goner.  Then, they're back at the grocery store to make another "purchase".

4. Your Straight Best Girlfriend
This is trivial, because the problem is most heterosexual women, try as they might, don't get it, even your "hag".  No matter how you try to explain it to them, they will forever be clueless.  You see, to them, you're a gay man, and they see another handsome gay man (so they think), and automatically think its a match made.  In their 2+2=4 world, it's that black and white.  But for us, I think we know what the real "tea" is.

3. So Called "Dating" Websites
Eve's other half has a website, except its sans Eve.  This website is under the guise of a great website where singles can meet and fall in love.  Don't fall for the hype.  Several failed relationships have finally opened my eyes to the real deal; A4A only serves a carnal purpose. For example, members post explicit images and claim to only be looking for friends, or wanting to find real love.  This should let you know that A4A and other similar websites are b.s., and you should GET OUT while you still can.  I mean really, I've never made lasting friendships by showing people my private area.  (Other's to avoid: Black Gay Chat, ManHunt, etc.)

2. Church
If you want a man to lie, cheat, and be deceitful, then church is the place for you.  The place of hypocrites and bigots, church will surely lead you on the path of romantic destruction.  News flash, if a man will lie to God, sweetie he will lie to you.

1. The Club
The number one NO-NO!!! Do I really need to go there?  I mean seriously, a hot sweaty room full of people that are drunk and high is the spot you choose to find a lasting love? Don't kid yourself my friend.  The music is pumping, and individuals are on the dancefloor grinding lustfully on each other.  This hedonic scene is saturated in sexual overtones.  I don't care how good he looks, and all of the wonderful things he whispers in your ear.  When the lights turn on at the end of the night, you will see him for who he truly is in more ways than one.  Let him buy you a few drinks, thank him for the favor, and leave.  Aliases and "phony" numbers work great in this setting.  Enjoy the night, leave any aspirations for romance at home, and like Gaga says, "just dance"!

Know of any other "No Cupid" zones?  Please comment and share your stories here at burnthecloset.blogspot.com!

Mom always said, "Marty eat your veggies, or you'll get no dessert".  I'm sure we've all heard that line.  Well, in order to get that big slab of chocolate cake, I'd manage to down the veggies on my plate.  As one gets older, the palette does change with maturity.  Today, I can't get enough of veggies.  I like them in my Italian dishes, to accompany an entree, or I enjoy raw veggies.  Well, why not make your veggies the headliner at your next meal.  I will show you how to make an easy vegetable stir fry that is healthy, economical, and delicious.

What you'll need:

• A wok (got mine from Ikea for $7.00)
• Wooden utensils

You can use any veggies you like, but here are the ones I use:

• Red & Yellow Bell Peppers (One Each)
• Red Onion (One)
• Snow Peas (One Pack In the Pod)
• Baby Corn (One Can)
• Broccoli (One Frozen Bag of Florets or Fresh Broccoli) 
• Water Chestnuts (One Can)
• Sprouts (One Pack)
• Basmati or Jasmine Rice
• Wok Oil
• Stir Fry Sauce (Low Sodium)
• Chili Powder
• One Head of Cabbage

Directions

1. Chop Bell Peppers, Red Onion, Cabbage (use 1/4 to 1/2 of cabbage), and Broccoli to prep them for wok.  Chop as fine as you would like.  Do not use a food processor.
2. Heat wok over medium heat and add wok oil.
3. Heat a sauce pan with water for rice.
4. Add veggies one at a time, and stir using wooden spoons.
5. When water in sauce pan is boiling, add rice, and follow cooking instructions.
6. You will add as many of the vegetables according to personal taste and according to the number of servings you will want.  Lightly season with Chili Powder.
7. Stir veggies in your wok for a good 10-12 minutes, and slowly stir in stir fry sauce.  Blend sauce with the vegetables according to taste for another 7-10 minutes.
8. Remove rice and wok from heat, and serve.  ENJOY!!!

The really great thing about this recipe is you can add poultry, beef, pork, or seafood to it very easily.

I have no idea what kind of mood I've been in this week, but my mind's been all over the place, as are the musical selections I've hand picked for this week for you to get.  I revisited the 90's with Lauryn Hill, because I needed to hear about love as only she can deliver the message.  Madonna's, "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" is simply haunting, and I LOVE IT!  When you want to dance, and just feel free, Lulu Hughs is going to "Give Some Love".  I promise these songs will please your musical palette.  ENJOY!  As always, these tune-rrific songs are available on Amazon and iTunes.

1. Lauryn Hill- Ex-Factor
2. Brazilian Girls-La territoire
3. Antoine Clamaran & Mario Ochoa feat. Lulu Hughs-Give Some Love (Klaas Remix Edit)
4. Hard-FI-Hard to Beat
5. Madonna-Devil Wouldn't Recognize You
6. Solange-Would've Been The One
7. Matt Alber-End of The World
8. Simian Mobile Disco-I Believe
9. Scissor Sisters-Invisible Light (Siriusmo Remix)
10. Rihanna-Good Girl Gone Bad

Hey buddy your music SUCKS! No really, the songs you're listening to lack any kind of musical integrity, talent, or creativity.  I remember growing up to the captivating and thought provoking music of Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and BoyzIIMen.  This is the type of R&B that will become classics, and will stand the test of time.  Oh and what a "Moment In Time" it was!  Songs like "If It's Over" by Mariah Carey, or "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" by BoyzIIMen will be as popular now as they were way back when.  Rap music by Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Common, and A Tribe Called Quest beckoned you to think about social issues and encouraged self respect.  What's more about all of these artists is the fact they either    sang, wrote, or rapped because of their love for music.

Now we move to the, uh, music (?) of today.  Wacka Flocka Flame; Soulja Boy; Gucci Mane?  I wonder if the notable house of Gucci is as uncomfortable with that reference as I am.  I beg you to listen to one of Soulja Boy's songs and pull anything thought provoking from his lackluster lyrics (hopefully he's kissing his career goodbye thru the phone).  What's even more sad is the fact that this pathetic excuse for an artist has a fan base.  I don't call that artistry, well not musical artistry; no a lot of today's rappers and singers have learned the art of conning the consumer.  Were you around the television when Ashanti received the "Aretha Franklin Entertainer of the Year" award and Best R&B/Soul New Artist at the Lady of Soul Awards over a year ago? My stomach remembers that lamentable moment well, as it churned in bitter anguish.  Ashanti can barely carry a tune, and she actually convinced individuals to purchase her albums that helped her attain undeserved titles.  

The problem is, artists are singing and rapping for all the wrong reasons these days.  Today my friends, it's all about the money, and nothing else.  You love your fans because your fan base equals revenue.  Music is long bereft of talent, you only need to attain a great beat, and then jumble a few words down or copy them from a bathroom stall, and record it over your incredible beat, and my friends you have a microwave hit! Of course great marketing doesn't hurt.  Remember that sex sells more now than ever before, and you will be the next best thing.  The saddest thing I saw was a gentleman defending Soulja Boy's song, "Pretty Boy Swag" on iTunes the other day.  In Soulja Boy's defense, the consumer replied to the horrible reviews by saying, "Respect Soulja's grind, hustle, and bussiness (consumer spells business wrong) because music he's making are becoming hits and many people are liking it Soulja is SUCCESSFUL." My advice to this clueless consumer -- get a reality check followed by a spell check; I'm sure your English teachers would be hurt.  Clearly someone that makes grammatical errors and can't spell would love Soulja Boy's music (I rest my case).  If this is where the next generation is headed, then I am very afraid.  However, I don't think it is, as many Gen Y'ers and Millenials choose more classic styles over what the radio is playing today (there is a God).  

The silver lining to this cloud includes such artists as Jazmine Sullivan, Chrisette Michele, John Legend, Alicia Keys, and B.o.B. to name a few.  These musicians clearly have a love for their craft, and perform musical pieces that will stand the test of time.  Another silver lining is the fact that Wacka Flocka, Nicki Minaj, and other artists that can't carry a tune, think Louis Vuitton is an Italian fashion house, or think Japan and China belong to two different continents will be long forgotten.  

Hall of Shame (TOP 10 ARTISTS THAT SHOULDN'T BE)

1. NICKI MINAJ
2. WACKA FLOCKA FLAME
3. SOULJA BOY
4. GUCCI MANE
5. ASHANTI
6. DRAKE
7. GS BOYS
8. SHAWTY LO
9. ROSCOE DASH
10. JUSTIN BIEBER

GOOD MUSIC: (R&B)

 

WTF MUSIC: (R&B)

GOOD MUSIC: (HIP HOP)

WTF MUSIC: (HIP HOP)