Corner of Poetry and Introspect

Sometimes when I really "don't like people" (including myself) I grab the nearest pen and paper, or keyboard (technology these days) and I write about whatever is on my mind at the time.  I've discovered poetry to be very therapeutic, in fact it has saved me from very terrible decisions that I could have made instead of taking the time to write.  Here you will find a collection of my thoughts and feelings.  I hope that you will get inspired and send your poetry to burnthecloset@gmail.com.  Your words could free someone else from the confines of their lives, and make them better people all while you help yourself.  So EVERYBODY wins! I do LOVE happy endings (well not all the time).


I Died Last Night

Years ago I knew a man that gave his all for love. I knew of a man that would remove himself from his own pedestal of self-admiration only to replace it with an object of affection. And to this object, he would unleash an unrelenting and unconditional love that was beyond any amount of love for himself. Placing the needs of his lover before his own, and showering him with emotional affections among others, it was this man's priority and mission in life to make his boyfriend happy. Somewhere along the road to happiness, this man was met with a rather unsettling block in the road. Philanderers and deceivers of all kinds halted his path to true romantic bliss, ultimately in a vicious continuum of failed relationships. Detour upon detour only rendered the same lonely results, crushing his hopes and dreams. One day this man laid down to slumber, but would not awaken. The body that was his, decayed, and became one with the most infertile of soils. What did awaken that day was a new man. Though he looked the same in appearance, his metaphysical body underwent a drastic transformation. What arose from that bed was a new flesh made of bitterness, cynicism, and stoicism the earth never witnessed. Never to be hurt again, and hell bent on never shedding another tear, this man willfully walked the earth alone, but never knew loneliness. Today I look at relationships, and I look at the supposed happiness between two "star crossed" lovers, and I smile. I know behind the mask that lovers wear is unhappiness they would never dream the world to know of. I know that "he" is probably racing from one bed to another, never thinking of the consequences of his actions. The man or woman that lies in bed waiting for him to come home is crying in bitter anguish, because the truth of where he "really" chooses to rest his head tonight is all too obvious. After I died that night, I felt a pain that I swear singed my everlasting spirit. But when the sun said hello that morning, I felt a new life, and a new will to live -- without love.


The Darkness of Light

How beautiful the rose that blooms,

racing along the stone pillar that marks the life and times;

of a man whose heart intertwined with mine.

Isn’t it the dream of dreams to give love,

and have love reciprocated;

to feel the rush of energy over and again.

If it only occurs once in the course

of a lifetime, then my time has surely ended.

The fate of unrequited love is now mine to have and to hold.

It would be too good to be true to possess

a love never to grow old.

So father time made a pact with the devil

and delivered you to a realm;

a place that I could neither touch you

nor whisper sweet nothings.

And now I’m left with just that: nothing.

The same roses upon your place of eternal slumber,

mark the path of tears that I cannot number.

The lot of deceitful and untruthful and offensive and foul,

have I entertained at the feast of my hopeful heart;

that longs with an agonizing need for romantic companionship.

Oh but it is hope and yearning in spite of itself;

or even the few parts of my heart that are left.

Certifiable am I and now Cupid’s blood has stained my hands,

And oh yes he was slain by my complete sadistic misery;

of the love that I once believed in to believe in nevermore.

Enslaved to tears and constant heartache,

my tired and bloody feet shackled to the rigid floor.

But you came along in the guise of friendship;

and yes I let you in to the

last stronghold of my faith in mankind.

This miraculous paradise of light and good;

a source of light conceived from

the kindred spirit of camaraderie.

This is where you frolicked and played

until on the sudden of a day,

your lips kissed the whole of mine and I was sent back in time.

To the day that I kissed him and knew that his soul was mine.

Never since the day my dearly departed filled my spirit

with his passionate flame,

has a kiss or a touch ever felt exactly the same.

Until you touched me with all of your amorous fire;

repressed desires reached the surface and set us aflame.

At last dear time threw a prayer to me.

But as quickly as it was there it faded into never.

Oh fate I call you a trickster when you call it clever.

I must ignore my chance at true love once more,

because our platonic bond has taken the forefront.

Oh but can't it find its way in a close

second to our love my love.

Paths will remain unexplored and the

taste of regret on my lips;

it replaces the taste of the happily ever after

you placed there before.

Tears won’t paint the picture of happiness I see

when I look into your eyes;

nor the fairytale that beams forth from your smile.

So along this path I continue alone,

outwardly expressing platonic sweet nothings,

while I die inside in agony and pain all the while.

This torment shall I keep from him while I die by myself;

revealing not one tear I’ve shed even at pain of death.

The theatre of dismay is full of those

awaiting that climatic scene;

The one where I fell hills and head over

for a dream turned reality;

ironically being the best of my camaraderie.

The day the feeling of this bitter anguish subsides,

is the very same day I forfeited life for suicide.

Dear John Letter To Love

I lay in my bed tonight,

and look next to me only 

to find an empty space;

but you took care of that.

You soured my belief 

in happily ever afters,

or even a lingering faith 

in happily ever at all.

You blew out my candles of hopes and candle lit dinners;

and you replaced a warm hand I longed to hold;

on long walks with

my own lonely shadow.

Good bye to red roses, beaches, and sweet sunlight,

I find my pleasure in the air of night.

The dark clouds above weep for me,

but as for me my last tear has been shed.

Scar tissue upon my spirit and a black heart;

all that I have left to show for my romantic life.

And as you draw near to say your last goodbyes, 

to the lifeless body of a man that gave

the greatest gift of all a try.

My best regards to love and happiness,

if the two go hand in hand.

From the grave of bitter memories is reborn a jaded man.

The sky is black and it fills my soul with joy.

The sky is black and it blasphemes against you.

Because all you detest now delights my spirit.

A hex on those who defend your honor;

an evil behind a black veil casts its spell.

Your false hope will ever burn in the flames of my hell.


Dedication To The Emancipator of My Heart

This feeling is like a fever that cannot be broken;
An illness my immortal soul cannot even find escape from
As it succumbs to the beautiful fate of your love.
In the midst of this passion I have found the words to
match the melody of my heartbeat
In this quixotic battle, I’ve found sweet victory in your eyes
The same battlefield where fate and heart ache 
have encountered their defeat
My spirit glows with l’amour over tender thoughts of you
And a warm smile appears on my face 
as I amuse myself and wonder;
If your spirit feels a sudden warmth
when my soul muses over 
the essence of your romantic thunder.
What is this song I hear that gives me the courage to relinquish my sanity
and freely give my heart to you
no one else has the magical music that beckons me
to come ever closer to your soul
examine the broken edges of our shattered hearts and you will discover
the jagged pieces of our past destruction are opposite the other
fitting together perfectly like a puzzle
creating a new heart that will never be bruised again
two star crossed lovers made from the same divine and spiritual mold
and like such prophecies long foretold
we discover the legendary treasures of love as this thing of ours unfolds
The same God that I see in nature I find in every aspect of you
The touch of your lips like the petal of the most magnificent red rose
Looking directly into the sun that radiates from your tremendous spirit within
You envelope me in your embrace just as the clouds wrap their warmth around the earth
Such beautiful pain that I conceive like the miracles of childbirth
Losing myself in the mystery of your eyes like the uncertainty of night
But I find safety here as I can for see a love that will grow from the soil of this foundation
Friends we began and friends we shall always remain
Even as it blossoms into the love it is destined to be
In the garden of our devotion I hope this flower shall always remain.